Friday, May 19, 2017

Helping Children Learn in the Age of Distractions Cheat Sheet


Your Brain on Twitter - Helping Children Learn in the Age of Distractions

Electronic Culture:
n  favours quick responses, quick results and efficient outcomes
n  does not utilize our bodies and movement, which is where social, emotional learning takes place.
n  does not provide the repetitive practice required to help children learn social cues, emotional responses and collective behaviors such as sharing, taking turns and negotiating needs.
n  Homes need to put back in, what electronic time takes away:
n  Unstructured play, Outdoor activity
n  Quiet environments
n  Eye Hand Activities and Single Focus Activities
n  Human connection and interaction

Suggestions:
n  Take small steps and Repeat them daily
n  Reinforce success
n  Create consistent routines
n  Do less
n  Have less
n  Engage the whole family in making changes.  Make sure everyone is resourced when having challenging conversations
n  Repeat material to mastery and honor the process of repeating material and learning from mistakes
n  Create intense learning opportunities – the greater the intensity the more impact it has on your brain
n  Repetition is important.  It takes 10-31k to create new neural pathways.
n  Have 3 minute high intensity aerobic/ movement breaks

Examples:
n  Eat meals together with no electronic devices including the TV
n  Have 30 minute family time where all electronic devices are shut off and everyone is gathered in the same location
n  Initiate 20 minute family walks
n  Work together on a project – puzzles, Lego buildings, art projects, baking, ect.
   n  All members of the household should have chores. Provide consistent expectations.
            Morning and evening routines are the most important.  Make them easy and predictable.

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

What Is Anxiety Cheat Sheet

What is Anxiety?
anx·i·e·ty
  • noun: anxiety; plural noun: anxieties
  • a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.
PSYCHIATRY
  • a nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks.

Stress Chemicals
  • Increases production of cortisol and adrenaline
  • Cortisol – Designed to be used in situations of “acute stress”  helps the body get ready for physical action
  • Increases inflammation in the body
  • Temporarily activates immune system (tiger vs. bacteria)
  • Epinephrine (adrenaline)
  • Affects other hormones, DHEA, progesterone, estrogen

Love Chemicals
  • Dopamine – increase in pleasure, motivation, decrease in sadness
  • Vasopressant – increase in sexuality, attraction and decrease in anxiety
  • Oxytocin – increase in trust, attachment and decrease in fear

What You Should Know
  • Anxiousness is part of a Belief Pattern
  • Beliefs are Hereditary – they are in our DNA
  • We Can Train Our Brains to Manage Anxiety

Activity
Overwhelming research evidence that activity supports:
  • Learning
  • Memory 
  • Self Regulation 
  • Anxiety 
  • Depression

Side Note on Worry
  • Our Thought is a Thing
  • Thought and actions seen by the body as the same thing
  • On a quantum level, everything is a vibration,
  • What you think about affects your biology
§  It also affects the biology of the person you are thinking about

Strategies We Teach Our Students
  • Change of State – Go for a walk
  • Go outside
  • Get a drink of water
  • Find What Comforts You: Hugs, Cuddling in a Blanket, Talking to Someone, Listen to Music
  • Positive Self Talk
  • Belly Breathing
  • Movement
  • Identifying Triggers

Home Supports

  • §  Declutter the home environment
  • §  Model Emotional Independence – Stress Contagion – You are in charge of managing your feelings
  • §  Move
  • §  Meditation/Breathing
  • §  Provide Responsibilities and Praise Independence
  • §  Limit Electronic Device Use
  • §  Have a consistent morning and evening routine
  • §  Eat Real Food
§  Some Stress is Good
  • Take care of your own stress
  • Model what you want your children to do and be
  • Move
  • Practice Finding What is Right
  • Pause, Meditate, Breathe
  • Eat Real Food

What Not to Do
  • Eat Sugar and Simple Carbohydrates
  • Self Medicating
  • Negative Self Talk
  • “Victimizing”



Active Listening Cheat Sheet

Active Listening Cheat Sheet

Listening Is
  The cornerstone of all conflict and communication practices.
  90% of the conflict process is about being a good listener.

The Opposite of Multitasking Is
  Active Listening.
  The ability to focus and attend to an outside speaker, while putting aside your ‘inside dialogue’ takes practice.
  The earlier we start the practice the better.

Paraphrase
  In your own words repeat back what you are hearing.
  “So what I hear you saying is….”
  “Hold on, let me just make sure I am getting this right....”

Reassuring Phrase
  What else?
  Is there something more you need to tell me?
  Is there anything else I need to know?
  Ok, and…?
  Yeah, and...?

Examples of Paraphrasing Opener
  “So what I hear you saying is….”
  “Hold on, let me just make sure I am getting this right....”
  What else?
  Is there something more you need to tell me?
  Is there anything else I need to know?
  Ok, and…?
  Yeah, and...?

What to Do With Feelings
  Every feeling is important information.
  Keep connected to your feelings as well as to the person you are listening to.
  After the individual has had an opportunity to be heard and you have paraphrased information, you can make observations about the emotional state.
  You are responsible for your own feelings.

First You Notice
  I notice you are talking fast and your voice is squeeky.  Does this mean you are feeling excited?
  I notice you are very quiet and your mouth is starting to quiver. What are you feeling right now?
  You can’t stay still in your chair and your eyes are all over the place.  What’s going on for you right now?

Use Non Judgmental Language
  Keep your words as neutral as you can.
  Keep the focus on your observations vs. controlling the conversation
  Allow the speaker to be in control of the conversation.
  Continue to Reinforce the information and the felt experience within the information

Practice
  This is a skill and with practice, over time, you can build your listening muscles.




Managing Difficult Conversations Cheat Sheet

Managing Difficult Conversations With Your Children

1Creating systems and strategies in the home that help children develop the skills required to hold difficult conversations
  • ·      Tasks that are repeated over time, train the brain.
  • ·      Positive Activities to Promote include:
  • ·      Positive Self Talk
  • ·      Independent Morning/Evening Routines
  • ·      Family Chores
  • ·      Quiet time
  • ·      Unstructured Play
  • ·      Consistent morning and wake up times.
  • ·      Consistent family “rules of engagement”
  • ·      Predictive behaviour and routines
  • ·      Practice with uncertainty
  • ·      Role modelling healthy risk taking and making mistakes
  • ·      Limit electronic time (60 minutes a day maximum and 2 hours before bedtime)
  • ·      Limit/eliminate high carb/highly processed food. Include more protein and more vegetables in the diet. Include cultured food (yogurt, kefir, sauerkraut, kim chi)
  • ·      Include opportunities for unstructured play (sand, outdoor activities, Lego, theatre, forts, castles)


2Provide a framework when dealing with children who are angry and upset.
·      The explosive Child by Ross W Greene
·     
     Behaviorally challenging kids are challenging because they are lacking the skills to not be challenging kids are lacking the skills of flexibility, adaptability, frustration tolerance, and problem-solving skills most of us take for granted page 10
·      Unsolved problems are highly predictable. The belief that challenging episodes occur unpredictably or out-of-the-blue is usually incorrect.
·      We can front load most of our practices to deal with explosive behaviour

Sample Conversation
  • ·      Jeffrey you are yelling in the supermarket. It is not okay to yell in the supermarket and you need to stop.  (That’s one)

  • ·      Jeffrey I have asked you to stop yelling in the supermarket. You need to stop. (That’s two)

  • ·      Jeffrey, you are still yelling.  That’s three.  Leave the supermarket. Jeffrey spends time in his room until he calms down.


·      Talking to your child:
  • ·      Jeffrey are you ready to talk?
  • ·      In the supermarket you got very upset when you did not get your choice to get the fruit loops.  What’s up?
  • ·      So you felt you should get the fruit loops and you were very frustrated and angry that you did not get what you thought you should have.  is that right? What else?
  • ·      So you think mommy should get you a treat when we go to the supermarket.  What else?
  • ·      So you think it’s not fair that you don’t get to pick your cereal in the morning.  What else?
  • ·      We are making lots of changes in the house and they are hard for you?
  • ·      You like the way fruit loops taste and it was the favourite part of your morning so you are disappointed that you can’t have fruit loops, what else?
  • ·      Okay, so how can we solve this problem?
  • ·      Are you willing to experiment with different breakfast ideas?  What if we work together to come up with some ideas?
  • ·      So, we are going to try some different ideas during the weekdays and you will get to eat fruit loops on either Saturday morning or Sunday morning as a treat.  Okay, that sounds like a plan. Let’s try this out and see how it goes.


How you say it is as important as what you say
  • ·      It is important that you are front loading your conversations.  Talk about the changes you are making, before you leave to the supermarket you are going to face your child and remind them of your expectations of how they are going to behave.
  • ·      Do your best to be even and non judgemental.
  • ·      Stop what you are doing, focus on your child at the level of your child.
  • ·      Name the behaviour without judgement.
  • ·      Notice what is working and praise your child for what is working.
  • ·      Never reward disruptive, volatile behaviour.